NaPoWriMo - Day 7 - R.I.P. Rover

Yesterday's prompt was to write a valedictory poem.  The Good Lord alone knows where this one came from.


R.I.P. ROVER

Can it be seven years since you left us,
dear Rover, my joy and my pride?
We travelled so often together,
but I'm glad we were home when you died.

You were always a faithful companion.
Then your body began to decay,
but I still shed a tear when recalling
the tow-truck which bore you away.

NaPoWriMo - Day 6 - Early April Evening

Yesterday's prompt was to write a cinquain (a five-line poem with the syllable pattern 2-4-6-8-2).

This one, I hope, speaks for itself.

EARLY APRIL EVENING

Blackbird

in the beech tree.

Exquisite melodies

serenading the arrival

of spring.

NaPoWriMo - Day 5 - Lightly Seared on the Reality Grill

Yesterday's prompt was to write a poem whose title is the name of one of Iain M Banks' fictitious spaceships.  There were lots to choose from - and I may well keep some in reserve for future efforts.  But for the moment, I will settle for this one:

LIGHTLY SEARED ON THE REALITY GRILL

Mount Everest isn’t the tallest mountain in the world.

Rickshaws and fortune cookies weren’t invented by the Chinese.

Baseball wasn’t invented by the Americans.

Chicken Tikka Masala wasn’t invented in India.

You can’t see the Great Wall of China from the Moon.

Marie-Antoinette didn’t say “Let them eat cake”.

Coffee is not made from beans.

Strawberries are not berries.

Horatio Nelson never wore an eye-patch.

Moths are not attracted to flames.

Ostriches don’t bury their heads in the sand.

The “thumbs-up” sign didn’t indicate mercy for a defeated gladiator.

The original marathon runner didn’t run 26 miles.

The Canary Islands aren’t named after birds.

Bugs Bunny and Brer Rabbit aren’t rabbits.

Burke and Hare were not grave-robbers.

Violin strings are not made of catgut.

And Mozart’s middle name wasn’t Amadeus.

But then, why let boring hard facts get in the way of a good theory?

(with grateful thanks to The QI Book of General Ignorance) 

NaPoWriMo - Day 4 - Song of the Square Mile

Day 4.  Yesterday's prompt was to write a sea-shanty. 

This isn't so much a sea shanty as a City shanty.  Like yesterday's poem, this very rapidly turned into an excuse for a good rant.  Perhaps I should call it a ranty.


SONG OF THE SQUARE MILE  (an EC-Shanty)

What shall we do with the merchant banker?
What shall we do with the merchant banker?
What shall we do with the merchant banker?
Make him earn his bonus!

Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

Take away his dirt-cheap mortgage,
Take away his dirt-cheap mortgage,
Take away his dirt-cheap mortgage,
And make him earn his bonus!


Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

Make him work in his own call centre,
Make him work in his own call centre,
Make him work in his own call centre,
And make him earn his bonus!


Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

Pay him no interest on his savings,
Pay him no interest on his savings,
Pay him no interest on his savings,
And make him earn his bonus!


Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

Sting him for obscene high charges,
Sting him for obscene high charges,
Sting him for obscene high charges,
And make him earn his bonus!


Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

Take away his guaranteed pension,
Take away his guaranteed pension,
Take away his guaranteed pension,
And make him earn his bonus!


Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Show him life in the real world,
Make him earn his bonus!

When he's learned the value of money,
When he's learned the value of money,
When he's learned the value of money,
Then he's earned his bonus!

NaPoWriMo - Day 3 - Cum Kilo Salis

Day 3.  This uses the prompt for Day 2 (a poem which tells a lie).

CUM KILO SALIS

I love getting up in the dark in the depths of winter.

I love watching reality TV.

I love ironing.

I love flying economy class.

I love giving the taxman my hard-earned money.

I love getting rejections for my writing.

I love phoning so-called “Helplines” and listening to canned Frank Sinatra for hours on end, whilst a recorded voice reminds me every thirty seconds that my call is “important”.

I love getting through (eventually) to someone whose accent is so thick that I could spread it on my toast.

I love the fact that the company I am phoning has contributed to the unemployment problem at home by outsourcing work to a call centre overseas.

I love Trick or Treat (which translates into English as “Give us something or we’ll vandalise your property”).

I love Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken (which once kept me awake all night when the people next door had a party).

I love Auld Lang Syne (which looks as ridiculous as it sounds).

I love the fat cat which regards my garden as its own personal toilet.

I love people who do not clean up after their dogs.

I love people who blow smoke in my face.

I love people who try to sell me things on my own doorstep.

I love people who ignore the fact that my phone number is on a national Do Not Call list.

I love people who think that they are too important to wait in a queue.

I love people who think that being old entitles them to be rude.

I love people who take other people for granted.

I love people who use the phrase “non-working mother”.

I hate having a good rant.

NaPoWriMo - Day 2

Day 2

I've had to take this post down temporarily.  I will put it back as soon as possible.

NaPoWriMo - Day 1 - A series of random words stuck to the front of a refrigerator

OK, here we go.  The first one, as befits April Fools' Day, is highly irreverent.  I had a lot of fun messing about with magnetic words on the front of my fridge.  The end result makes about as much sense as some of the stuff I had to endure for A-Level English.

If there's anyone out there who understands it, do feel free to explain it!