Saturday, 13 April 2013

NaPoWriMo - Day 13 - Ventilation

Yesterday's prompt was "write a poem consisting entirely of things you'd like to say, but never would".  Sounds like another excuse for a good rant.

Maybe I'm getting bolder in my old age, but I wouldn't hesitate to say any of these things, given half a chance.  

VENTILATION

Something I would love to say to George W Bush:
- Is English your first language?

Something I would love to say to anyone who is thinking of becoming a politician:
- What makes you think you can make a difference?

Something I would love to say to the UK Treasury:
- If Inheritance Tax really is fair, then why doesn't the monarch have to pay it?

Something I would love to say to the dedicatee of Wishful Thinking:
- How can you sleep at night?

Something I would love to say to the father of the dedicatee of Wishful Thinking:
- If only you’d worn a condom…

Something I would love to say to anyone who drives a Chelsea Tractor:
- Did you trade in your brain when you bought that?

Something I would love to say to the person who designed the car park at my local Tesco:
- The charitable explanation is that you don’t actually drive.

Something I would love to say to the person who redesigned the local branch of my bank:
- Come and try it sometime, when you have several hours to spare.

Something I would love to say to the CEO of BT:
- Why aren’t your call centres located in Britain? (BRITISH Telecom – the clue is in the name...)

Something I would love to say to the guys at Apple:
- Why is your hardware so cool whilst your software is so crap?

Something I would love to say to the publisher of FSOG:
- Why was this published, when much better work has been turned down?

Something I would love to say to a cold-caller:
- Two words, the second of which is “off”.

Something I would never say to anyone:
- Because I say so.

2 comments:

  1. Something I would love to say to Sue Barnard: I love your poems!

    I forgot to come here for a while. I've been too busy with the A to Z Challenge. Why do we join these challenges...?

    ReplyDelete