NaPoWriMo - Day 3 - Cum Kilo Salis

Day 3.  This uses the prompt for Day 2 (a poem which tells a lie).

CUM KILO SALIS

I love getting up in the dark in the depths of winter.

I love watching reality TV.

I love ironing.

I love flying economy class.

I love giving the taxman my hard-earned money.

I love getting rejections for my writing.

I love phoning so-called “Helplines” and listening to canned Frank Sinatra for hours on end, whilst a recorded voice reminds me every thirty seconds that my call is “important”.

I love getting through (eventually) to someone whose accent is so thick that I could spread it on my toast.

I love the fact that the company I am phoning has contributed to the unemployment problem at home by outsourcing work to a call centre overseas.

I love Trick or Treat (which translates into English as “Give us something or we’ll vandalise your property”).

I love Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken (which once kept me awake all night when the people next door had a party).

I love Auld Lang Syne (which looks as ridiculous as it sounds).

I love the fat cat which regards my garden as its own personal toilet.

I love people who do not clean up after their dogs.

I love people who blow smoke in my face.

I love people who try to sell me things on my own doorstep.

I love people who ignore the fact that my phone number is on a national Do Not Call list.

I love people who think that they are too important to wait in a queue.

I love people who think that being old entitles them to be rude.

I love people who take other people for granted.

I love people who use the phrase “non-working mother”.

I hate having a good rant.